In pursuit of happYness: February 2011

It's all about me, me , me , me. me

Folks,

these days, I'm trying too hard and I'm getting a bit tired.. I realised that I want some ME time and I want so much pampering that it should choke me.. maybe I ran the wrong direction, searching for the not-meant-to-be's.. maybe I should look around and settle for the second bests...

How should I put it... when people are placed in amusement parks, figuratively, of course... they have fun, the time of their lives.. and obviously, if they could, they would want to bring the bumper car or the ferris wheel home... but clearly, life is not that perfect..

the key is... no matter how fun the ride is.. someday, you gotta get down, go home and just reminisce of the good times you had.. because ultimately, clinging on to a fun ride will bring you no where.. you can ride on the ferris wheel for a thousand times... but you're just going around in circles..

eventually, you have to walk into your not-so-fun perodua viva.. and drive home.. a bumper car or the wheel ain't going to bring you that home run..

At this moment, I believe I'm on that ride.. and sometimes.. I really think I should get off... ferris wheel ain't going to bring me home...and I have no intentions to try to convert an amusement ride to an actual vehicle... it takes teamwork and it takes two to make things happen..

It's weird sometimes how I make funny realisations.... I realised I'm a rather dependent person and in the past six months, I've tried really hard to "man-up"... and I'm kinda giving up right now.. I want back my legitimate "how was your day"s, "I miss you"s, and "happy valentine's"...

Lol.. ok... I have to admit... after 7 years of non-single valentine's (good or bad)... I happen to hate my "singles awareness day" very much...

I prefer running away than to be "run away" from

From one relationship to another, I've experienced numerous farewells. It could be a day, a week, or a year... I had my share of times whereby I had them returning to different continents, different countries, different states .. some for studies, some for filial purposes. I was always at the receiving end of things. I was always the one that was left behind... Which made me wonder... How does it feel like to actually leave behind people that you cherish...

I always wonder.. does the person who leaves feel as bad as the one who was left behind to wait?

And my conclusion is... HELL NO!!!

It feels way better to leave than to be left.. lolz... Now that I'm traveling so often for my work. I realised. When you leave for a purpose, be it work, family or studies, you are leaving to achieve something. But for the one who was left behind.. all things being the same... it's just a lost... no matter how the other tries to comprehend that there are reasons behind the departure.. ultimately, it's a terrible loss...

Don't get me wrong.. I feel bad for leaving the people I cherish behind too.. Be it for only a day or two.. but I realised that it is incomparable to the feeling that you get when someone important is leaving while you stay put.

So ... I here take a vow... I covenant... My relationships from now on... should constant traveling be required... Let me be the one traveling! I don't want to be left to wait.... :-P

Looking at my schedule now.. I'm guessing I've a good chance of keeping that promise to myself.

:-) ... So I'm happy...

I know this sounds a bit selfish... but to those who have not experienced what it is like to have long distance before.. you don't know what I'm talking about.. but to those who are currently in LDRs. I respect you.. lolz.. but I'm not built for it..

Should I have an opportunity to leave this place one day.. I will drag along that lucky someone.. (or should I say unlucky)...

Not exactly an interesting post I guess... This is what happens when you're not well but you've decided to come to the gym to hang out.. Being at home all the time can drain the life out of me.. Not exactly a very homey person... especially on a FRIDAY night..

In pursuit of happYness

It's all about me, me , me , me. me

I prefer running away than to be "run away" from

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