My brother called me up early in the morning today, told me that my grandma has left us. I know this day would come, having multiple occurrences of stroke, paralysis, and bed sores, I know returning to the hands of god would probably serve her better. She is now relieved of all the agony and pain, a part of me am glad that god has taken her away from us.

However, with that being said, I was really torn between being relieved and feeling sad. I really didn't know how much it hurt me until I was at the funeral parlour this evening. As I walked towards her white casket, it really brought back some memories about my dad's departure. It really saddens me that one by one, family members will eventually leave us behind, it's just a matter of time. I guess that's the circle of life. As I peek through the glass, I saw her face, and to my surprise, this is the first time in years I've seen her so peaceful. She looked as if she was in a deep sleep, a total contrast from the days I saw her in the hospital, gasping for air, fighting for life. I guess god has decided to give this old warrior the rest she deserves.

Life has definitely got tougher these days. I really wish I was a kid sometimes. I looked at my little nephew's face and he had no idea what was happening. Still joyful and oblivious of the sadness around him, I guess we are no longer entitled to that kind of privilege. But with that being said, I do not want sadness to consume me and I know in life, obstacles are inevitable. There are always ups and downs. I may have hit rock bottom today, with the departure of another family member but I will move on, wishing there are better days ahead.

Lastly, I would like to take this opportunity to thank the people who had sent their regards and to the one person who took time from his really busy day to accommodate for a whiny person like me.  :-) Thank you for helping me through this painful day.

I've much to do tomorrow. Have to head to the funeral parlour for the cremation session. Gotta hit the sack right now. 

"Po Po, may you rest in peace"